Bitter tears

Rose looked at the death anniversary card. It was a single piece of white glossy paper folded into two making it a booklet with four sides. The first side had a photo of her husband. The second side had a picture of the virgin mother and a small prayer. The third side included details of the anniversary mass and lunch venue. The last side had names of all the family members including her two sons, Thomas and Joseph. Her husband smiled at her from the card. Memories flashed through her mind as Rose looked longingly at her husbands photo. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "He is my son", said Mathew proudly. "Yea.. smarter one is always yours", Rose complained. "He has my intelligence. Thomas has yours", Mathew teased. Rose carried on with the chores with a smile on her lips. The two kids came running into the house. "Papa, papa..Tommy is hitting me" Mathew looked at his elder son. "Why are you hitting him?" "Because he is making fun of me papa. He keeps calling me a moron", Thomas complained. "No papa.. he keeps calling me a crook. I called him a 'moron' only today..", Joseph whined. "Stop it both of you. No calling names in the house. And Tommy, he is your younger brother. Behave nicely to him. And Jo.. will you call you brother a moron again?", Mathew asked his younger son. "No papa.. I won't" And saying this Joseph cosied into his father's laps. Thomas left the room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rose heard footsteps outside. She rose from her chair with much difficulty and walked towards the door. After a brief struggle with the bolts, Rose opened the door. "Where is Tresa mama?" "She is sleeping with the baby" "Did you have your dinner mama?" "No son.. I thought I'd wait for you.." "How many times I've told you mama.. don't wait for me. You should have your meals on time. Don't you remember what the doctor said?" Rose did not reply. She smiled. "Ok..come mama..let's have dinner together" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Aren't you ashamed of yourself? 2 marks!! 2 marks out of 100. How can I even come to collect the progress report??". Rose was exploding with anger. Thomas hung his head in shame. Joseph watched the drama from a distance. "How many hours did I spend with you Tommy.. tell me... were you dreaming when I taught you?? Answer me you idiot!!" Rose was burning with anger and frustration. "Look at your brother Tommy.. hundred out of hundred. Forget other kids.. can't you learn from him? How ashamed will he be when teachers ask him whether Thomas is his brother! Don't you have any shame?? 2 marks!!! Let papa come home today. I'm sick and tired of trying to teach you. Oh God..how will this child live on his own?" Tears trickled down Rose's face. Thomas looked at Joseph. Joseph ran to comfort his mother. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Everything is set for tomorrow mamma. I met Fr. George. He told us to come fifteen minutes before the mass. Jose uncle will bring the candles and the flowers. Tresa and I will arrange the flowers. And the caterer.. well he agreed for a payment next month. Thank God... or else we would have had to ...." Rose had started crying. "Come on mama... if you start now itself how can you hold yourself together tomorrow? No crying mama.. come on" Rose didn't utter a word. She wiped her tears. Memories kept flashing through her mind. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mathew looked at Thomas. "If you had studied when we told you to study, you wouldn't have had to take up jobs like these. Go ahead.. what can I say. As you sow, so shall you reap. You will have to work in this low level office for the rest of your life. " Mathew paused. "Look at Joseph .. earning lakhs per month and living a happy life in US. Can your annual salary equal his monthly salary? Anyways .. what's the point. Take the job. At least we get to see you every day.. not that it is any consolence." Thomas didn't reply anything. He looked at his mother who stood behind Mathew. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rose looked at Thomas as he ate. "Joseph won't come...isn't it?" Thomas stopped eating. "He is busy mama.. he told you right.. he is busy.. and it's not easy getting leave and tickets mama.." "But he didn't stay for the 5th day either" "Mama... he works for a big company. They don't care what happened to our papa. " Rose looked at her son. Thomas stroked his mother's left hand. Rose couldn't control any longer. She started crying. "It's ok mama...it's ok.. I'm here" Rose continued sobbing. Thomas looked at his mothers wrinkled face. She looked different from the mother of his childhood. She looked scared, fragile. "Do you hate me son?" "Stop mama. Why will I hate you?" Rose cried loudly. "Oh Lord.. forgive me... forgive me Tommy.. your mother was a fool.. Oh Tommy...my dear son....forgive your mother son..." Rose sobbed hysterically. Thomas felt a lump in his throat. And then Thomas hugged his mother's fragile body. Deep inside he was filled with love and contentment.